The Honi Greeting Explained: A Culturally Respectful Way to Enrich Your Hawaiʻi Wedding
- Ariel Quiroz
- 5 days ago
- 9 min read
Aloha e kākou,
As a live wedding painter based in Hawaiʻi, I love helping couples connect with the deeper meaning behind the traditions they include on their day.
When couples reach out to me about their wedding in Hawaiʻi, many of them ask the same thing:
“How can we honor Hawaiian culture in a real, respectful way - and still keep everything feeling like us?”
As a Maui-based live wedding painter who has lived and worked in Hawaiʻi for years, I have had the privilege of witnessing couples from all over the world infuse Hawaiian traditions into their celebrations with great heart.
One of my favorite answers is simple, quiet, and deeply powerful: the honi greeting.
In this article, I want to walk you through what the honi is, why it matters in Hawaiian culture, and how you can weave it into your ceremony, photos, and even your live wedding painting in a way that feels authentic and full of aloha.
What is the honi greeting?
In Hawaiian, honi is often translated as “to kiss,” but the traditional greeting involves forehead-to-forehead contact, nose-to-nose, and a shared inhale through the nose. You can pronounce honi like “HO-nee” and honi ihu like “HO-nee EE-hoo.” That shared breath is called hā - the breath of life.
Many kūpuna and cultural practitioners describe honi as:
An exchange of hā (breath of life) and
A sharing of mana, the spiritual energy each person carries.
So when you greet someone with honi, you are not just being affectionate. You are recognizing their life force, their presence, their dignity. It is intimate, but it is also protocol - a traditional way to say, “I see you. I honor you.”
You will sometimes hear the phrase honi ihu - literally “kiss the nose” - used to describe this nose-to-nose greeting.
Beyond weddings, honi has long been used in daily life among ʻohana and community - greeting family, close friends, and honored guests. Bringing it into your wedding connects your day to a practice that has carried aloha through generations.
Hā, mana, and the heart of aloha
To really understand why honi is so special, you have to understand hā.
Hā is the breath of life - the first breath when we arrive in this world, and the last breath when we leave.
Ancient Hawaiians saw breath as sacred and believed it carried mana, spiritual power, and life energy.
Even the word aloha reflects this. Many respected sources break it down as:
alo - presence, face, in front of
hā - breath, breath of life
So aloha can be understood as the presence of breath or sharing of the breath of life - a way of living in connection and mutual respect.
When you share a honi at your wedding, you are not just doing a “Hawaiian kiss for photos.” You are literally sharing breath, symbolically sharing mana, and stepping into marriage with a gesture that sits right at the center of what aloha means. It is a moment of vulnerability and trust where you allow yourselves to be fully present with each other.
If you want to dive deeper into how I integrate traditions like this into ceremonies, you can also read my article on Integrating Hawaiian wedding traditions into the ceremony.
How couples use honi in their Hawaiian wedding ceremony
Over the years, I have watched kanakamaoli couples, Hawaiʻi-based couples, and visitors from all over the world include honi in ways that feel natural and meaningful.
Here are the most common moments where it fits beautifully:
1. After the lei exchange
In many Hawaiian-style ceremonies, the couple begins by exchanging lei as a symbol of love, respect, and unity.
A powerful sequence is:
You each place a lei on one another.
You gently bring your foreheads and noses together.
You share a slow inhale - your honi.
In that moment, the fragrance of the flowers blends with the shared breath, and the whole scene becomes very grounded and calm.
Your officiant can explain to your guests that you are exchanging both lei and hā - flowers as a circle of love, and breath as a symbol of life and spirit joined together.
2. As part of your vows or ring exchange
Some couples choose to share a honi:
Right after they speak their vows
Right after placing the rings
Before or after the “Western” kiss
This gives you two distinct layers:
The kiss many of your guests expect
The honi, which roots your ceremony in the land and culture of Hawaiʻi
Many officiants in Hawaiʻi already include language about honi and will gladly guide you on timing and protocol.
3. Honoring parents and kūpuna
I have also seen couples offer a lei and honi to parents or grandparents during the ceremony. It is a tender way to:
Thank them for their love and support
Acknowledge family lineage
Bring the older generation into the heart of the ritual
The combination of lei, honi, and maybe a quiet hug can be one of the most emotional moments of the entire day. It weaves gratitude, continuity, and ʻohana into the center of your vows.
Step-by-step ways to weave honi into your ceremony
To make it easier as you plan, here is a simple way to think about where honi can live in your ceremony:
After your lei exchange to seal that gesture of love and respect
During your vows as a quiet pause to let your words sink in
After your ring exchange as your first greeting as a married couple
With parents or kūpuna, paired with lei, to honor generational bonds
You can choose one or combine a few, depending on what feels most natural for you.
The honi in wedding photoshoots
Whether I am painting or not, I see honi as one of the most beautiful poses you can include in your Hawaiʻi wedding photos.
Here is why it works so well visually:
It naturally brings your faces close together.
Your body language softens - shoulders relax, hands find each other’s arms or waist.
There is a calm focus in your eyes that feels different from a classic “dip kiss” or big laugh.
Visually, the honi creates a striking image: foreheads meeting, noses aligned, eyes often gently closed or softened. It captures that raw intimacy - a pause amid the joy, where the world fades and only the shared breath remains.
When I work alongside photographers at weddings, I often suggest a “honi moment” during:
Sunset portraits
First look sessions
Quiet moments after the ceremony, away from the guests
Because honi is about shared breath, I sometimes invite couples to pause, close their eyes or gaze softly at each other, and take two or three slow breaths together. It settles the nervous system and brings you back into your bodies after the whirlwind of the day.
If you are planning your photo timeline, talk with your photographer ahead of time about including a honi. Many local photographers already know and love this gesture, and if they are new to it, sharing a resource like this overview of honi ihu as a traditional greeting can help them understand its weight and meaning.
The honi as a focal point in your live wedding painting
Now we get to my favorite part.
As a live wedding painter in Hawaiʻi, I spend hours studying your body language, connection, and the small gestures that really tell your story. The honi is one of the most powerful poses I can paint.
Why the honi works so well on canvas
From an artistic point of view, the honi gives me:
A strong, symmetrical focal point - your faces creating a quiet center in the composition
An intimate gesture that reads instantly as love and connection, even from across the room
A perfect place to weave in details like your lei, hair flowers, or the curve of your veil
From a cultural point of view, it allows me to paint not just “a couple kissing at the altar,” but a moment that carries the weight of hā, mana, and aloha inside it. The painting becomes more than a scene - it becomes a visual prayer for your life together.
In some pieces, I paint the exact honi moment at the ceremony. In others, I might use honi for a quieter vignette in the background or a private moment during portraits, while the main composition focuses on a wider scene with guests and landscape. We decide this together during your consultation and planning process.
If you are also thinking about live guest portraits for your reception, I can echo that same sense of intimacy and aloha in the way I portray your guests - soft expressions, warm interactions, and little touches that feel true to Hawaiʻi.
Practicing honi with respect
Because honi is an indigenous practice, it is important to approach it with humility and cultural awareness, especially if you are not Native Hawaiian.
Here are a few guidelines I encourage my couples to follow:
1. Learn the meaning first
Do not add honi just because it “looks cute for photos.”
Take time to read about:
Hā as breath of life and its connection to aloha
The honi as an honorific greeting that shares breath and mana between two people
When you understand that, the moment automatically becomes more sincere.
It can also help to practice the honi together in private before the wedding day so it feels natural and comfortable when you share it in front of your guests.
2. Ask your officiant or planner for guidance
Many local officiants and planners already incorporate honi and can advise you on:
When in the ceremony it fits best
How to position yourselves
How to explain it to your guests in a respectful, educational way
If you are working with a Native Hawaiian practitioner, follow their lead. They may have specific protocol or wording they prefer.
3. Avoid treating it as a costume or prop
Respecting Hawaiian culture means:
Not turning honi into a gimmick or joke
Not forcing it on guests who are uncomfortable with close contact
Being mindful of consent and personal space
Honi is about genuine presence and mutual respect. If you hold that intention, you are moving in the right direction.
4. Let the spirit of aloha guide you
At its core, aloha is about how we relate to one another - with kindness, compassion, humility, and a sense of shared humanity.
If your choice to include honi:
Honors the host culture
Deepens your connection as a couple
Brings more respect and love into the room
Then it is aligned with the spirit behind the practice.
Bringing it all together for your wedding in Hawaiʻi
For me, the most beautiful weddings are the ones where the couple:
Understands a bit of the kuleana that comes with marrying in Hawaiʻi
Chooses a few meaningful traditions, like lei exchange and honi, and does them with heart
Let those moments live on in their photos and in a custom live painting that will hang in their home for decades
If you feel drawn to include the honi in your ceremony or as the main pose in your painting, I would be honored to help you plan it in a way that feels authentic to you and respectful to the islands.
You can explore more about my Live Wedding Painting services, see recent work in my blog, or check availability and share your wedding date so we can start designing something special together.
We will talk about:
Which moment you want painted
How you want to integrate honi and other Hawaiian elements
The best way to tell your love story on canvas, surrounded by the light, color, and spirit of Hawaiʻi
Until then, breathe, stay present with each other, and remember - every shared breath is part of your story. FAQ: The Honi Greeting, Hawaiian Weddings, And Live Wedding Painting
1. What is the honi greeting in Hawaiian culture?
The honi is a traditional Hawaiian greeting where two people gently touch forehead to forehead and nose to nose while sharing a soft inhale together. It represents an exchange of hā (the breath of life) and mana (spiritual energy) between both people, and it is considered a very honorific and intimate way to say, “I see you, I honor you.”
2. How do you pronounce “honi” and “honi ihu”?
Honi is usually pronounced “HO-nee,” and honi ihu (the nose-to-nose greeting) is pronounced “HO-nee EE-hoo.” The word honi is often translated as “to kiss,” while ihu means “nose,” so honi ihu can be understood as “kiss the nose” or “nose greeting.”
3. What does the honi symbolize at a Hawaiʻi wedding?
At a Hawaiʻi wedding, the honi symbolizes the sharing of life, spirit, and deep respect between two people. When you touch forehead to forehead and nose to nose and share a breath, you are sharing hā and mana, which connects your relationship to the cultural heart of aloha rather than just creating a cute photo moment.
4. How is the honi connected to aloha, hā, and mana?
Many respected cultural sources explain aloha as a word that can be broken down into alo (presence, face, front) and hā (breath or breath of life), pointing to a sense of shared life force and mutual respect. In honi, you are literally sharing that breath, which carries mana, the spiritual energy each person holds. So a honi is a very direct expression of aloha in action.
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